Fear
by Slytherin-Abbyforever
Summary: Song-fic series. The past of one of our fave characters. Banner in my profile.
1. Betterman

**TITLE: FEAR: PART 1- BETTERMAN**  
Song: Better man by Pearl Jam  
Warnings: Abuse, domestic abuse, violence etc etc.  
Style: Tarantino style (jumping from now to ten years ago and other etc)  
Pairing: Abby/OMC  
Disclaimer: I own Thomas and Shayla. No one else.  
Author's note: Since closed on us fanfic writers and then the resource got rid of me, here I am.

****Ten years earlier****

_**waitin', watchin' the clock, it's four o'clock, it's got to stop  
tell him, take no more, she practices her speech  
as he opens the door, she rolls over...  
pretends to sleep as he looks her over**_

Vanessa's heart drops as she hears a key in the lock. He's home. And by the way he slammed the door, she knows this evening is not going to be pleasant. She squeezes her eyes shut as he pushes open the door to their bedroom, violently. Even if she was asleep, he makes sure she is no longer. Tonight was the night she told herself that it was going to end. Vanessa was going to leave Thomas. He was not going to make it easy for her but she had practiced her speech well enough.

_**she lies and says she's in love with him, can't find a better man...  
she dreams in color, she dreams in red, can't find a better man...  
can't find a better man  
can't find a better man**_

It wasn't always this way. When she is at her worst after another of his attacks, she flashes back to days before he was like this. When he only put his hands on her to love her or remind her that he was there for her. Now every single caress made her sick to her stomach. Vanessa had had potential. And all through her life, she never took abuse from anyone. It wasn't as if she had grown up in an abusive home with evil parents. All through high-school, she was tough. Never let a guy bring her down and defended anyone that was being hurt, that meant anything to anyone. But this man had hurt her. And now it was ritual.

_**talkin' to herself, there's no one else who needs to know...  
she tells herself**_

Vanessa was ashamed. And embarrassed. She waited months to tell anyone that he hurt her. The usual, 'I fell down the stairs. That's why I have two black eyes and finger shaped bruises on my arms'. Only lasted so long. Eventually, her best friend dragged her to a hospital after he nearly killed her. Now she was trapped. The doctor thought it would be nice to inform Vanessa that she was carrying Thomas' child. The 'happy' couple would soon be parents. Vanessa's heart slammed into the ground. Never had she felt so help-less.

_**memories back when she was bold and strong  
and waiting for the world to come along...  
swears she knew it, now she swears he's gone**_

****Present time****

Now as she flashes back to that time in her life, she physically feels the pain once again. That's why she has become the person she now is. Happy, and bouncy and effervescent are all words that have been used to describe Abby Sciuto. Formerly Vanessa Caldwell. Anyone that knew 'Vanessa' would in no way associate her with Abby. Right down to her Goth threads and even blacker hair, she had shed herself of the person she once became. For herself and for Shayla.

_**she loved him, yeah...she don't want to leave this way  
she needs him, yeah...that's why she'll be back again  
can't find a better man**_


	2. I'm not dead

TITLE: FEAR: PART 2- I'M NOT DEAD  
Song: I'm not dead by P!nk  
Warnings: Abuse, domestic abuse, violence etc etc.  
Style: Tarantino style (jumping from now to ten years ago and other etc)  
Pairing: Abby/OMC  
Disclaimer: I own Thomas and Shayla. No one else.

"Abby, a word?" Ducky asked as he spoke quietly into the phone.  
"What's the matter Duck-man?" Abby asked when she heard his tone.  
"Could you come down here a minute?"  
"Be right there."

_**You can do the math a thousand ways but you can't erase the facts  
That others come and others go but you always come back  
And just like the change of seasons  
I know you'll be back again**_

"What's going on?" Abby asked when she entered the autopsy and saw Gibbs and Ducky standing waiting for her.  
"Abby, have a seat." Gibbs instructed. His voice was quiet too and she did what she was told. Either someone was seriously injured or dead. Either way, she just wanted to know what was happening and not piss off Gibbs or Ducky.  
"Please tell me what this is about." She begged after more torturous silence. Without saying a word, Gibbs placed several photographs on the table next to where Abby was sitting. "What's this?"  
"Have a look. They were emailed to me this morning with a warning."  
"Huh?" She asked picking them up, gasping as she saw the first. Vanessa. A very blonde, colorful 'Abby' to anyone who never met 'Vanessa', with a dark-haired man. The next was of her with a very small girl, around three years. Abby's hair was red, and a lot shorter than usual, while the child's was as blonde as her mother's had been. Another was a recent one of Abby with a much older girl, with blonde hair. Abby's hair was as they had always known it and she was wearing her usual attire. As soon as Abby saw the pictures she tore them up.  
"What the hell is this? Is this a joke or something?" Abby asked, pissed off.  
"You see me laughing?"  
"What are you not telling us, Abigail?" Ducky asked supportively. Gibbs was quite obviously not impressed with her secrecy.

_**There's always cracks  
Crack of sunlight  
Crack in the mirror, on your lips  
It's the morning of a sunset Friday  
When our conversations twist  
It's the fifth day of ice on a new tattoo  
But the ice should be on our heads**_

"It's nothing. A really long time ago, that's all." Abby said. "Why do you have them."  
"Your husband." Gibbs said simply and her breath caught in her throat.  
"I have to go." She said quickly getting down from the autopsy table, knocking the small pieces of the photos she had torn up.  
"Where do you think you're going?" Gibbs asked, grabbing her arm to stop her form entering the elevator.  
"I'm going. I'm sorry." She said genuinely. Gibbs had done enough research to know she meant goodbye.  
"Abs." He protested. She was gone.

Gibbs decided that instead of following her to her lab, that he would beat her to her apartment. Abby didn't know that he knew where she lived so she didn't think he would show up there.

"Shayla, let's go." Abby called when she walked into the secured apartment they had settled into when they finally got to Washington.  
"Where are we going?" She asked. There was no reason to suspect that they would have to move again.  
"We're just going. You know the drill." Abby said simply, packing the photos into the box they kept underneath that cupboard. There were few things they had been able to become attached to so Abby always made sure the photos went with them.  
"No, not again." Shayla said. The fourteen year old had never fought her mother or questioned why they had been running away since as far back as she could remember. But she loved the life they had now, her friends. Even loved her mother as 'Abby', her black hair and fun clothes.

_**And I was never looking for approval from anyone but you  
And though this journey is over I'll go back if you ask me to**_

"Not going." She said crossing her hands across her chest.  
"Shayla, we are not having this discussion right now. Pack your things."  
"No. I'm sick of moving. I want to stay here with my friends." Shayla argued. Abby had never seen the girl so adamant about anything. Kind of scared her how she looked like her father like that.  
"I want to as well. I love my friends." Abby said disappointedly, but knowing there was no choice. "But there is no way we can stay here anymore."  
"Why not?"  
"It's complicated." Abby tried.  
"No. I'm not a baby anymore, thinking this is all a great adventure. Tell me what we're running from."  
"Shayla, I know you're not a baby, but you're my baby. And I have to protect you."  
"Mother!"  
"Shayla." She countered.  
"It's dad, isn't it?" Shayla asked.  
"Why would you ask that?" Abby stopped and approached the young girl.  
"I know what he did. And I understand you wanted to get away from that. But why still."  
"Look, there's a lot I haven't told you."

_**I'm not dead just floating  
Underneath the ink of my tattoo  
I've tried to hide my scars from you**_

"You can tell me." Shayla said, sitting at the table where her mother was standing.  
"I can't." Abby said sitting down next to her. She doesn't look at her. Shayla watches her mother fiddle with the cuff around her wrist. She grabs her hand forcing her to look at her.  
"It will not damage me any more than memories of my father beating the crap out of my mother."  
"We're not safe here. He's back. And he knows where I work. So he will definitely know where we are right now."  
"So what if he does?"  
"Shay, he has been chasing us since we left him when you were four. He wants to hurt us, and take you away."  
"He does?"  
"Not for the right reasons. He wants to hurt me and he can't do that anymore so he knows taking you away would kill me." Abby explained.  
"So you ran away."  
"We had to. He was going to kill me. He almost did before you were born."  
"Whoa." Shayla said looking down at the table.  
"This is why we have to get out of here as soon as possible."  
"But what can he do now?"  
"He has money, my sweets. One day you will understand how important that is. Vanessa Caldwell, the woman I once was, now has a criminal record. If he catches up to us and decides to go by the book, I'll end up in prison and he'll get custody of you."  
"No way."  
"Money. Starting to understand?" Abby asked.  
"Yes."  
"Now can we get out of here?"  
"Absolutely." Shayla said finally. "I'll make new friends."  
"Thanks honey." Abby said kissing her daughter's cheek. "I'm working on it."

Shayla took off back toward her room to pack her clothes. Anything that would fit into the bag, anything else had to stay. Anything with her name on it, or information, such as school reports, had to come with her too. Personal items always stayed though. She learned not to get too attached to anything or anyone. Just her mother.

_**I'm not scared at all  
Underneath the cuts and bruises  
Finally gained what no one loses**_

"Shayla, unpack." Abby said from the doorway.  
"Huh?"  
"Unpack your things. Put them away. Except pack a bag for a few days, you need to stay with a friend of mine for a bit." Abby said.  
"What are you talking about?"  
"I'm sick of running too. So, let him come. But you can't be here when he does."  
"I'm not leaving to let him come in here and kill you." Shayla said, starting to tear up.  
"He wont. I swear. Have I ever broken a promise to you?" She asked putting her arm around the younger girl.  
"No. But…"  
"I have really great friends now. Nothing is going to happen to us. But you've seen enough in your life already so that's why you can't be here."  
"Mom." She protested.  
"This is definitely not a discussion." Abby said leaving the room. "We're leaving the house in five minutes." She called back as she made for the kitchen.

_**We only spun the web to catch ourselves  
So we weren't left for dead**_

Abby arrived home from taking Shayla to Ducky's house. They knew about her anyway, so it took less explaining than taking her to Tony's or Ziva's. Plus, she knew when the time came that she would need Gibbs, Tony and Ziva covering her back.  
She walked into the kitchen to get a drink and her laptop to start plotting her game-plan. She nearly dropped to the ground when she saw who was sitting at the table she and her daughter ate at.  
"Thomas."  
"Vanessa. It's been too long."


	3. Anywhere

**TITLE: FEAR: PART 3- ANYWHERE**  
Song: Anywhere by Evanescence  
Warnings: Abuse, domestic abuse, violence etc etc.  
Style: Tarantino style (jumping from now to ten years ago and other etc)  
Pairing: Abby/OMC  
Disclaimer: I own Thomas and Shayla. No one else.

_**Dear my love, haven't you wanted to be with me  
And dear my love, haven't you longed to be free  
I can't keep pretending that I don't even know you  
And at sweet night, you are my own  
Take my hand**_

"Mommy, what are you doing?" Shayla said when she woke up hearing her mother in her room. The four year old rubbed the sleep out of her eyes to be able to see better.  
"Nothing, baby. Go back to sleep."  
"Why are you taking my clothes?"  
"Shh." Vanessa said putting her finger to her lips. "Daddy's trying to sleep and we don't want to wake him up, do we?" She asked.  
"No."  
"Wait here for a bit. Then you and I are going out?"  
"Where are we going?" Shayla asked.  
"Just out." Vanessa said grabbing the bag. "Stay here for a minute and wait for me to come back."  
"Okay, Mommy."

Vanessa silently took Shayla's bag to her car. She put it in the boot next to her own, as well as some pictures she took straight off the wall. None of Thomas, just some of Shayla as a baby and more recently, and some of them together. But none of Thomas. Vanessa quietly made her way back into the house and navigated her way around in the dark back toward Shayla's room, right next to the one she shared with Thomas. Where he was asleep right now. It had been another pleasant evening that has escalated when Vanessa told Thomas that she had decided to go back to college, now that Shayla was old enough and about to start pre-school.

_**Unlock your heart  
Drop your guard  
No one's left to stop you**_

_**FLASHBACK**_

"What are you talking about?" Thomas asked.  
"Forensic science. I want to study it. I am so fascinated with…" Vanessa started.  
"No. It's not going to happen."  
"Excuse me." Vanessa said. She knew he wouldn't lash out at the dinner table with Shayla there. He never had.  
"You're not going anywhere. Get used to that fact. You're a wife and mother. That's all."  
"Thomas, this is what I want to do." She tried, keeping her voice calm for the little girl witnessing this conversation.  
"Then it's a shame it's not going to happen." He said equally calm. "Shayla, sweetheart. Go to your room for a minute."  
"Okay, daddy." The little girl said smiling before walking into the other room. That was the only indication she needed to know to be afraid. She got up quickly and backed away from the table but he was faster and stronger and the advantage had her on the ground before she knew what happened. She yelped as her head hit the ground, but otherwise knew not to make a sound.  
"You were saying?" He asked as he had his hand clamped around her throat.  
"I'm sorry." She croaked through his grip. He slapped her hard and let go of her neck, dropping her to the ground. He kicked her in the stomach, effectively winding her. He reached for something off the dinner table and Vanessa knew that whatever it was, it was not going to be good. Shayla ran back into the room to get her drink, and screamed when she saw her mother on the ground with her father standing over her with a knife.  
"Leave Mommy alone." She said grabbing her father's arm. He didn't expect it and pushed her away in response. She fell onto the ground and started crying, more from the shock than anything else. Thomas then stormed out of the house.  
"Baby, are you okay?" Vanessa asked as she quickly got up, despite the pain, to comfort the little girl.

**END OF FLASHBACK**

That was the moment Vanessa decided it was more than time to leave. He had put his hands on Shayla. That was the line.

_**We're leaving here tonight  
There's no need to tell anyone  
They'd only hold us down  
So by the morning light  
We'll be half way to anywhere**_

"Come on, Shay. We're going." Vanessa whispered as she crept back into the little girl's room.  
"Okay, Mommy." She said as Vanessa slipped her jacket on and shoes. She picked her up to ensure no extra noise. She got to the door, that had been left open when she put the bags in the car, and put Shayla on the ground.  
"Shayla, baby." Thomas said. Vanessa nearly screamed when she heard that voice.  
"Yes, Daddy." She said turning to him. She was still a little shaken from the incident earlier, seeing a different side to her father, one that scared her.  
"Come here, honey."  
"No, Shayla, get in the car." Vanessa said instantly.  
"But…"  
"That's okay. Go get in the car. I'll be right there." Vanessa promised and Shayla ran off to the car. As soon as she did, Thomas dragged her back into the house, slamming the door. He punched her to the ground and kicked her again.  
"Where are you going, darling?" He asked, his voice completely calm and normal.  
"Thomas, leave me alone." Vanessa screamed.  
"And where in the hell do you think you're taking my little girl?" He asked, picking her up from the ground by her hair.  
"I mean it, Thomas. Let me go!"  
"Or what?" He asked, letting go of her blonde locks.  
"Or this. Keep your fucking hands off me and my daughter." She threatened after producing a gun from her belt.  
"You don't have the guts, Vanessa." He taunted, reaching for the weapon. She fired and the bullet hit him in the arm. "You bitch!"  
"Remember that feeling. Now, I am going to walk out that door and drive away. Don't look for us, I swear, this is not going to end well."  
"You shot me. You have no idea how bad this can get, Vanessa." He yelled, grabbing his arm. "First thing I'll take from you is Shayla."  
"We'll see." She said walking out the door with the gun pointed at him. She ran to the car, knowing that by now he would be calling the police or any of his goonies to follow them. One thing she learned from being married to money. Money always equaled power, and he had plenty of that.

"Mommy, what happened?" Shayla asked when she saw the gun in her mother's hand as she ran to the car.  
"Nothing, baby. Are you strapped in?"  
"Yes."  
"Okay. We're going to be driving for a long time tonight, so why don't you grab your blanky and go to sleep for a while?"  
"Okay, Mommy. Can we have some music on?" She asked.  
"Absolutely."

_**I have dreamt of a place for you and I  
No one knows who we are there  
All I want is to give my life only to you  
I've dreamt so long I cannot dream anymore  
Let's run away, I'll take you there**_

"Morning, Princess." Vanessa said when the little girl started to wake up. She rubbed her eyes before opening them and looking around her. She always woke up silent and didn't make a sound until she gathered her bearings, and Vanessa knew now that she was trying to figure out where they were and how they got there.  
"Mommy." Her little voice said.  
"We're at a hotel, Hun."  
"I had a bad nightmare about Daddy." She said putting her head back down on the bed.  
"Yeah, you did."  
"Mommy?"  
"Yes."  
"Why are we here?" She asked. Vanessa sat done on the bed next to her daughter. It was time for a little truth.  
"We can't go home, baby. One day you'll understand why. But for now, trust me." Vanessa said brushing Shayla's hair out of her face with her fingers.  
"Okay."

_**Forget this life  
Come with me  
Don't look back you're safe now**_

"Mother, why are we moving again?" The seven year old asked.  
"We have to." Vanessa, now known as Taylor, told the little girl.  
"Okay." She submitted but it was obvious she was not happy.

Vanessa had been trying to register for school and hadn't had the proper identification as Taylor. She knew she had set off some kind of indicator to Thomas to where they were.

"So, now what?" Shayla asked as they moved into their new apartment.  
"You can't call me Taylor anymore. It's Abby."  
"I never call you anything but Mom."  
"But if for some reason you need to tell someone my name, it's Abby. Got it?" She asked.  
"I got it." Shayla said storming off to her new room.

"Name?" The college Administrator asked.  
"Abigail Sciuto."  
"Okay, Abigail. I received your Highschool GPA from your school in New Orleans. Very impressive. As was your admissions essay."  
"Thanks."  
"Please fill out these forms and we'll get you started on your admission."  
"Okay. Thank you very much."

_**Unlock your heart  
Drop your guard  
No one's left to stop you now**_

"Can I help you?" Gibbs asked when he saw the woman sitting at his desk.  
"I was told to come speak to you. I was applying for the job in the forensics lab and the Director said that I had to pass your test first." The Goth woman said in a speed that impressed him.

When Vanessa had eventually become 'Abby', she changed her entire outlook on how she acted in life. Despite her clothes mainly consisting of black, she was now happy and finally satisfied with her life for the first time in many years. The tattoos she had accumulated through the years on the road with Shayla, were not hidden. If she didn't get the job with the Navy guys she would just keep trying elsewhere. Abby had graduated early with Majors in Criminology and other Forensic sciences.

"Jethro Gibbs." He said putting his hand out.  
"Abigail Sciuto." She said grabbing his hand with her own, spike-cuffed wrist. "But it's Abby if you want to live."  
"I'll try to remember that." Gibbs said laughing. "You really don't care to try and impress the Director?" He asked pointing toward her attire. She looked down to the plaid skirt with dripping chains, and black top that said 'cruel' in red on the front. Her gun-metal hair was in two high pigtails, showing off another tattoo at the side of her neck barely covered by the dog collar.  
"If I got the job today because of the court suit I was wearing, then I would lose it tomorrow for coming in dressed like this. Gotta put all my cards on the table to start with."  
"Good way to put it."  
"Has my dress sense left a bad impression of you, Agent Gibbs?" Abby asked.  
"No. How good are you at your job?" He asked flat out.  
"Whatever you need me to do in the lab, I can do. I am published twice now in forensics journals and have graduated two years early with Majors in several forensic sciences. What else do you need to know?"  
"What time you can start."  
"Immediately." She said instantly.  
"Good answer. I'll take you to your lab."


	4. Can't keep me down

**TITLE: FEAR: PART 4****- CAN'T KEEP ME DOWN**  
Song: 18 wheeler by P!nk  
Warnings: Abuse, domestic abuse, violence etc etc.

_**Hey, hey, man! What's your problem?  
I see you tryin' to hurt me bad  
Don't know what you're up against  
Maybe you should reconsider  
Come up with another plan  
Cuz you know I'm not that kinda girl  
That'll lay there and let you come first **_

"But you couldn't leave well enough alone, could you? Could you?!" Chip said advancing on Abby with a knife. Not the best idea.  
He was yet another man that had thought he could bring her down easily. Perhaps because she wore pigtails in her hair, or perhaps because she could look so innocent and helpless one moment before pouncing.  
Not a good idea at all. Chipper had ended up on the ground covered in Caf-Pow, his head duck-taped to his back and his arms bound around his body.

Billy-Bob was another. He'd tried to run her over inside with her own motor-bike. That didn't end well for him either.

Or Mikel Mower. That was an example of what her friends could do for her when someone was after her.

The problem was that every single time a guy tried to hurt her or take her down, she flashed back to Thomas. Any time he scarred her.

_**Can't keep me down  
Can't keep me down, down  
Can't keep me down  
I said you can't keep me down**_

So every time she kicked some ass, she was healing herself. Vanessa was living vicariously through Abby to defend herself. Abby saw the weak, blonde woman crying on the floor until he left her alone in her pain. Her frail form battered and marked. It was never going to happen to Abby. Never.

"And don't look up my skirt!" She yelled at Terry Spooner as he continued to scream on the ground. She zapped him again with the tazer for good measure, or another sadistic reason, she wasn't sure which.  
"Okay." Gibbs said after laughing. As helpless and afraid as she acted, she was perfectly capable of defending herself, well. And he had always suspected that there was a reason for that. Abby seemed to enjoy luring men into a false sense of power with her until brutally emasculating them.  
With nothing to do with her attire or general appearance, he could always feel a certain darkness around her. It could have very easily been missed with the sunny disposition she propelled so well, but he knew from his own experience. Knew that look in her eyes.

_Agent Gibbs,_

You don't know me so let me introduce myself. My name is Thomas Caldwell. I regret to inform you that you have a fugitive amongst your staff.

Now, I understand that you know the pain of losing a child. So, you could see my problem with my wife taking my daughter away from me for 12 years. I have not spoken to her since she was four. I do not care to have my wife back, you can keep her there at NCIS. But she should be charged for her crimes and for that I need your help. I also understand, that is what you do. Bring the criminals to justice.

So I implore you, as a father, as a special agent, as a man. Is Abigail Sciuto really worth losing your job? She has lied to you for years. Since the moment you met her, since she got her job.

Vanessa Caldwell to the law, Abby Sciuto to you. Guilty of assault, kidnapping, fraud, theft and I'm sure you can come up with other laws pertaining to the Government job she fraudulently obtained.

Vanessa is quite charming to get what she wants. She is also dangerous, especially under the influence of the addictions she demands. You most likely wouldn't believe that this woman could fool you, Special Agent Gibbs. That is why the attached photos can make that definite to you.

The only contact I have had with my little girl, Shayla since the night Vanessa shot me and took off, has been through a private investigator. I can not afford to take her to court, and as good as she is at convincing people of how innocent she is, I cannot lose my little girl again.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

Yours truly,

Thomas Caldwell.

Gibbs opened the attachments with help from a passing agent. There were photographs. After a second he realized they were all of his Abby. She looked very much the same, that the pictures could have been taken the week before. Except the hair and lack of tattoos.

_**Everywhere that I go  
There's someone waitin' to chain me  
Everything that I say  
There's someone tryin' to short-change me  
I am only this way  
Because of what you have made me  
And I'm not gonna break! **_

"Get out of my house!" Abby said as she walked deeper into the kitchen. She eyed the knife-block she kept next to the stove but it was empty.  
"Can't have you armed again, Vanessa." He said laughing, not moving slightly. "You're a lot feistier than I remember, but then again you were pointing a gun at me. So, perhaps not." Thomas said, a little comfortable for Abby's liking.  
"Scared you away for twelve years, so I guess feisty works for me." She sneered, trying to match his confidence.  
"And I must say, I did like the red. I can even deal with the black hair you've got going on now, but blonde truly is your color, Vanessa."  
"It's not Vanessa. You can't push me around anymore." Abby said putting her hands on her hips.

"Are you okay, Shayla?" Ducky asked as the teenaged girl sat quietly at the table. He knew that it wasn't that she was shy, she was doing the Abby-overthinking thing.  
"Yeah, I'm fine." She said unconvincingly. She put on a smile for the man she only met when her mother had driven her to this man's house. He hugged Abby and greeted her so lovingly that Shayla knew that they were obviously close. She really wanted to meet this Gibbs though, that she had heard so much about.  
"What seems to be bothering you, my dear?" He asked. "You have that same look as your Mom when she's over-thinking."  
"I'm just a little worried about my Mom. What if he shows up there?"  
"If I have learned anything knowing your mother, it is that she can defend herself incredibly well. Plus, she is not alone in this anymore." He said.  
"Yeah, she said she has really great friends now."

_**Hey, hey, girl! Are you ready for today?  
You got your shield and sword?  
Cuz its time to play the games  
You are beautiful  
Even though you're not for sure  
Don't let him pull you by the scar  
You're gonna get your feelings hurt**_

"Where's my baby?" He asked standing up and stepping closer to her. "Where's Shayla?"  
"Safe. No where you will ever get her." Abby said, now happy that with her preference of boots, she was the one with the height advantage and he couldn't intimidate her with it anymore.  
"I think I will." Thomas said. "Do you truly think that Donald and Victoria Mallard are the best security you could have given my daughter?" Thomas threw in. "And if you think that harming me will do you any good, you should think about this. I may not be the only one that followed you to D.C. and that this other person may be on his way right now to pick up Shayla."  
"You bastard!" Abby yelled, swinging at the man. He ducked away quickly before she made contact with his head. That threw her off balance enough that he could grab her arm and throw her to the ground. He kicked her in the stomach, his old choice of violence.

_"You're nothing, Vanessa! Nothing but a lousy wife and mother!_

She heard him yelling. Abby flashed back as Vanessa to fifteen years previous when this was a daily occurrence. And she lay there like always until she heard the voice of her little girl, that night when he hurt her and shattered her faith in her father. _"Mommy, why did Daddy hurt me?"_

She also believed Thomas had sent someone to get Shayla so as soon as she got rid of Thomas, she could call for back-up and get her out safely.

Angrily, Abby shook her head to clear her thoughts, and focused on where he was hurting her. He was punching her, kneeling over her. She got pissed and punched him in the throat with her hand covered in spiked rings. One pierced the skin and he yelled in pain as blood trickled down his neck.  
"Ow, you bitch!" He yelled.  
"So you do bleed red?" She asked sarcastically, elbowing his arm so he fell to the ground. She got up, picked up one of her chairs, smashing it violently over the man. "I never would have thought." She continued as she quickly threw her three inch heeled, buckle covered boot into his stomach for a taste of his own medicine. "Not just dressed to be cute."  
"I'll kill you, I swear." Thomas swore loudly. Abby dropped her foot again, this time not in his stomach, and this time he screamed out in pain.  
"Like I said, not Vanessa."

_**You know you can't keep me down  
I said you can't keep me down**_

"Donald, what is that sound?" Victoria asked her son. Ducky woke up at her voice and so did Shayla. They had fallen asleep on the large plush furniture in the living room.  
"It's the door, Mother. I'll get it." He said, getting up without hesitation. He opened the door expecting Abby or Gibbs. Instead there was a man he had never seen before, with a look he had. He was pushed to the ground hard before he could close the door on the man.  
"Who are you?" Shayla asked as the man started approaching her.  
"Shayla, I assume?" The man asked, sneering as he pulled a gun out of his belt.  
"Stay away from me." She yelled. Ducky had been knocked out when he hit the ground.

"Gibbs, no one is answering the phone at Ducky's." Abby said in a panic as she bolted out the door. She had used her cell to call Gibbs as soon as she had Thomas unconscious and locked in her house, restrained to the kitchen. "Thomas sent someone there and they're going after Shayla, we have to get there before…" She started to ramble until Gibbs stopped her.  
"I know, Abs. Shayla's fine, and Ducky's woken with a mild concussion. William Shullen has been shot once each by Ziva and Tony. He's alive but critical."  
"What? How did all this…"  
"You think I would let anything happen to her? Ziva and Tony were there since you dropped her off earlier."  
"Thank God. And thank you so much, Gibbs."  
"Abs?"  
"Yeah."  
"Don't leave us out of this anymore." He said, appearing behind her as she reached for her car door. She hung up the phone when she knew he was there.  
"I wont. I promise." Abby said hugging him with all her appreciation. "Thank you so much, Gibbs."

_**You can run over me with your 18 wheeler but  
You can't keep me down, down, down, down**_


	5. Deceiver of fools

**TITLE: FEAR: PART 5- DECEIVER OF FOOLS**  
Song: Deceiver of fools by Within Temptation  
Warnings: Abuse, domestic abuse, violence etc etc.

_**He will sell your soul to the grave  
No hesitation he'll make  
He belongs to the dark**_

"This is not going to end well, Vanessa." Thomas yelled as he was dragged into NCIS by Gibbs.  
"No, it's not." She called after him.

"You have no idea. As soon as my attorney gets here, I'll have your badge." Thomas threatened. The way he was sitting in the chair, with pure confidence, Gibbs was starting to see through.  
"You can certainly talk tough. I'll give you that." Gibbs responded, not even slightly intimidated by the man.  
"You're all going to pay for this."  
"You like to beat up women. And yet, despite that much strength and anger, you haven't felt brave enough to take a swing at me."  
"I know what you're trying to do, and it's not going to work. I am not some hick you've picked up, and I am not an idiot. I went to Yale."  
"I'm impressed." Gibbs said sipping his coffee.

_**Shall he rule again?**_

"Husband?" Tony asked again as they sat in the lab. Abby was explaining everything to Tony, McGee, Ziva and Ducky as Shayla sat in the Ballistics lab listening to music.  
"Ex-husband, as soon as it's on paper." Abby clarified.  
"I'm sorry, I just can't picture you getting married." He added.  
"Now, no." She said looking down at herself. "But Vanessa was a different person."  
"And you have a child too." Ducky reminded them. "How old is she?"  
"Shayla will be 16 next month."  
"Which makes you..?" Tony pried.  
"Old enough to have a 16 year old."  
"Okay."  
"This is too strange." Ziva finally said.  
"Yeah, that's me. Queen of all MOAS's." Abby added.  
"Tell me about it." Tony said laughing.  
"MOAS?" Ziva asked.  
"Mother of all secrets."  
"Oh."

_**As faith for the future faded fast  
He grows strong with their displeasure  
It sets him free.**_

"Special Agent Gibbs, I presume?" A tall, suited man asked, barging into interrogation.  
"You must be this expensive attorney I keep hearing about."  
"One and the same. I'll ask you to stop talking to my client until he and I speak alone."  
"It's okay, Mel. Gibbs and I were just talking about Vanessa." Thomas said.  
"How expensive are we talking?" Gibbs asked out of curiosity.  
"This conversation alone would cost your house."  
"Thomas, you disappoint me." Gibbs huffed.  
"Excuse me?" He asked.  
"_I can't even afford to take her to court…_I can't express enough, how badly I hate talking to liars. And even worse, when they actually think they are going to get my help."  
"Do you have anything on my client?" Mel asked, standing up and gathering his brief-case.  
"A complainant." He said simply.  
"Vanessa Caldwell, I'm sure."  
"And if it is?"  
"Have you any evidence? At all." Mel asked.  
"He beat her again, just like he used to." Gibbs said. "She is covered in bruises. We have hospital reports from twelve years ago when he nearly killed her. Now, like then, your ring left a prominent mark on her body as you punched her. Not too bright for a guy who went to Yale." Gibbs mocked.  
"Twelve years ago? You mean, when Mrs. Caldwell shot my client and kidnapped his daughter?" Mel asked.  
"Vanessa legally obtained the weapon after being out in the hospital six times by your client. Three times while she was pregnant. That's not a man that loves his wife and certainly not one that loves his child."

"Gibbs'll get him." Tony said confidently.  
"No, you don't understand. He has money, power and charm. He'll get himself out of this. He always does."  
"Gibbs never loses his man." Ducky said.  
"He lost Ari. And one of us ended up dead. I'm sorry, but that can't happen." Abby said nodding toward where Shayla could be seen dancing animatedly in the lab, not paying attention to the other people.

"Mom."  
"Yeah?" Abby answered automatically. It freaked them all out.  
"It's Thomas, isn't it?" The young girl asked. Her pale eyes and hair, still strangely resembling Abby. Ziva and Tony also noticed that Shayla had long disassociated with her father. "Tell me."  
"Yes, it is." Abby admitted.  
"I don't want to see him. You promised me that." She said starting to get angry and upset.  
"And have I ever broken a promise to you, Shay? Ever?" Abby asked.  
"No."  
"Then you have nothing to worry about." Abby said running her hand over her daughter's head.

_**In a world of the free  
He plays with your mind**_

"This has been fun, Special Agent Gibbs. Tell Vanessa I look forward to seeing her in court. And tell Shayla I love her and can't wait until she's living with me." Thomas said gathering his coat from the back of the seat and draping it over his shoulders.  
"Don't stray too far, Thomas. I guarantee, I will get you." Gibbs said.  
"Since, not a thing in this case pertains to the Navy or the Marines, you have absolutely no jurisdiction on this. And I will be sure to remind your Director of that." Mel said holding out his hand to Gibbs. He ignored it and the attorney put it down smiling.

"Vanessa Caldwell, you are under arrest for assault, fraud, kidnapping, unlawful detainment and attempted murder." The Police officer said as he turned the Goth woman around and hand-cuffed her.  
"What the hell?" Abby asked.  
"Where is Shayla Caldwell?" The other officer asked as she was escorted out of the lab.  
"She's safe. Leave her alone." Abby yelled.  
"Where is the child?"  
"You're already arresting me. Leave my daughter out of this."

"Gibbs, you need to get down here." Tony said as soon as his boss answered his cell. He was in the Director's office discussing what they could do within the law for Abby.  
"What, DiNozzo?"  
"Abby's been arrested." He said quickly as Ziva took off to do what Abby had asked her.  
"What?" He said hanging up the phone and bolting out of the office.

"Tell them where Shayla is." The public defender tried.  
"No. You can't take her from me."  
"You'll go to jail." She warned.  
"As opposed to…?" Abby asked. "I'm already on my way to years in here, I'll do some extra years for Shayla."

_**A sheltering ray shines through this night  
Although it 's small, it's bright  
But darkness is lurking**_

"Where is my mother?" Shayla asked as she sat in Ziva's apartment. The request Abby had made to her if anything happened. She knew that the first places Thomas would go after Shayla would be Gibbs' place and Ducky's. And she trusted that Ziva would kill for Shayla if she had to.

"What are we doing Boss? And where's Ziva?" Tony asked.  
"We're going to Abby's house."  
"Why?"  
"To investigate. What we do." Gibbs reminded him as he grabbed his Sig out of the drawer and started for the elevator.  
"Okay." Tony said. "I thought we weren't allowed to investigate this."  
"We weren't supposed to investigate when you were prison either. But we did and it got you out."

"Anything?" Ziva asked as she called Tony's cell.  
"Not that we know of yet. It was a mess at Abby's. Took us hours just to collect everything destroyed in the kitchen."  
"Anything promising?"  
"A recording MP3." He said.  
"What does that mean?"  
"Abby recorded something. Wont know until we get back to the lab. It's damaged."  
"Let me know."

_**He will sell your soul to bitterness and cold  
Fear him**_


	6. Caged

**TITLE: FEAR: PART 6- CAGED**  
Song: Caged by Within Temptation  
Warnings: Abuse, domestic abuse, violence etc etc. This chapter takes on a different level of f-ed up. You'll know what I mean.  
Disclaimer: I own Thomas and Shayla. No one else. Oh, and now Jade, Loritta, Braelan and Renata. That is all.

_**Everyone with a friendly face  
Seems to hide some secret inside**_

"What am I doing here?" Shayla asked. Ziva had cooked them a wonderful meal, but Shayla couldn't stand the silence and knew that something was going on. Something she wasn't being told.  
"You'll find out soon. Your mother just has to take care of a few things." Ziva said.  
"Okay, I get that. But why am I here specifically? You don't seem like the type that likes kids around."  
"I'm not." Ziva said. "But you're nearly 16, that isn't really a kid."

_**FLASHBACK**_

"So you know about my wife and daughter?" Gibbs asked Ziva as she stood in Abby's lab, mere days after Kate's death.  
"Yes. I'm sorry." Ziva answered sincerely. Suddenly she felt bad that she had investigated all there was to know about this team, now seeing what they were going through. So, most of them had skeletons in their closets that Ari could use against them. It had nothing to do with her. She was doing her job. That was all.

"I lost my sister Tali. She was sixteen and the best of us." She revealed to Tony. About all she ever revealed to Tony. "She had compassion."

And Abby had hated her from the start. Maybe it was because she knew too much about the Goth woman. Ziva had said the names 'Vanessa' and 'Shayla', and Abby had nearly taken a swing at her. Even threatened that if she told anyone, including their co-workers, about her daughter and their past, that she would kill her without leaving any forensic evidence. Until she was sure that Ziva was not going to reveal anything, they were never really on speaking terms. After time, they finally grew closer.

"You asked me about Shayla." Abby reminded her one day after they worked a case where a little girl was kidnapped on Halloween.  
"Yes."  
"She's incredible, smart, beautiful, confident, and resilient." Abby revealed, taking a photo out of her drawer. "Maybe one day you would like to meet her."  
"I'd like that." Ziva said looking at the picture. She was a beautiful girl, with her mother's dimples and big eyes. But they were brightly blue, rather than green, and her nearly white, blonde hair was curly and much like her own. Unlike she'd seen Abby's, perhaps once before. "So that time you had to wear a suit cos of the Director, and your hair was curly, that was how it naturally is?" Ziva asked.  
"Is that another thing we can keep between us?"  
"Yes."  
"Then yes."

**END OF FLASHBACK**

"So you're not going to tell me where she is." Shayla concluded.  
"Your Mom asked me a while ago to protect you if she couldn't. I agreed."

_**These are the darkest clouds  
To have surrounded me  
Now I find my self alone caught in a cage**_

"What did you do?"  
"I didn't do anything." Abby said without looking up at her cell-mate. "Let's get that straight."  
"I never heard that one before." Loritta Tween said throwing her head back against her hard bunk. "Hey guard! We got another innocent one!"  
"What'd you do?" Abby asked, pissed at the other woman's presumption of her.  
"Beautiful story. The no-good son of a bitch I married came home from work thinking his dinner would be on the table. It wasn't so he started beating the shit out of me, as usual." She explained.  
"And then what?" Abby asked, intrigued at the familiar story.  
"He got his dinner. Bastard didn't see it coming, he collapsed to the ground." Loritta said, almost smiling.  
"What was it?"  
"Rat poison. Didn't sit well with his stomach and his meatloaf." She said. "Oh well, the look on his face when he realized what I did is worth the years I'll be stuck in here."  
"Got any kids?" Abby asked.  
"No, thank God." She said. "You?"  
"Yep. That's why I never tried the rat poison thing." Abby revealed, feeling a new respect for this woman. But knowing that in another circumstance, she would have done that same thing scared her.  
"Married to a spineless son of a bitch too?" Loritta asked, actually smiling at Abby.  
"Yes."

"Jethro, why are you still working this case?" Jen asked when she entered the lab. Gibbs and McGee were at the computer trying to achieve what Abby would be able to.  
"What do you mean, Director?" Gibbs asked.  
"I know what you're doing. You searched Abby's house."  
"Yes, we did." He said without hesitation.  
"You are not to investigate this case. Anything you find will not do Abby any good." Jen said and McGee turned back to the computer, not working, just excluding himself from the conversation.  
"I am not going to let her stay in that jail without doing everything I can do get her out. Even if I have to go over your head, Director, I will." He said coming in within an inch of her face.  
"I know that you will do what you have to do for Abby, even at the risk of your job and life. But, think about everything you do. You don't want to make things worse for Abby." She warned.  
"I wouldn't." He said and she knew he meant it. She walked out, letting him know that she knew he would continue investigating, and that she wanted him to. But couldn't say it.

_**He told me he loved me  
While he laughed in my face  
He took my virtue**_

"Have we got anything yet?" Tony asked when he returned to the lab.  
"Not yet. You?"  
"Thomas Caldwell is a very wealthy man." He started when he was interrupted by Gibbs.  
"Anything pertinent to this case?" He asked, obviously pissed off.  
"Sorry, Boss. Thomas Caldwell does not have a criminal record, nothing. Not even when he was young." He said. "But then again, like I said, he's loaded. I'm sure his folks got him out of any trouble he got into."  
"Any proof, DiNozzo?"  
"I got an email from Ziva. Information she got from her sources that we can't talk about. Thomas was married once before he married Ab… Vanessa. Renate Caldwell supposedly fell down the stairs in their home, three years after they were married. They had a daughter Braelan. She went missing a month after Renata's suspicious death."  
"He killed Renata?" McGee asked, shocked.  
"No proof. Braelan was only three, and she was missing for more than a day from her bedroom before Thomas called the police." Tony said. "He cried and apologized for not calling sooner when the police picked him up. Said he was looking for her himself and even went to the extreme of hiring a private investigator. No luck so he stopped paying the P.I after a day."  
"What happened to Braelan?" McGee asked.  
"It is still unsolved."  
"Why was there nothing about that in his police record?" Gibbs asked.  
"Money."

"Braelan? He wanted Shayla to be named Braelan, but for once, I refused. And Shayla was the closest I would agree to." Abby said when Gibbs visited her in prison. "He wanted to name our child after one he probably killed."  
"Appears that way."  
"That bastard."

_**Everyone with a friendly face  
Seems to hide some secret inside  
Always there to remind me  
To keep me from believing  
That someone might be there  
Who'll free me and never ever leave me**_

"Jade, what are you doing here?" Abby asked when she entered the visitation room. She was expecting someone like Gibbs or Tony, or even her attorney. Not her former best friend.  
"I've missed you, Vanessa. It's been too long." Jade tried, putting her hand on the table between them.  
"Abby, not Vanessa. I tried to call you when Shay and I got settled. You dumped us. I thought you would be my friend forever." Abby snapped.  
"I wanted to still talk to you. I can't believe we lost touch. How is Shayla?" The other woman asked, absently running her fingers over her baby-bump.  
"Fine. What do you want Jade?" Abby asked.  
"I wanted to see you."  
"How did you know I was here?" Abby said, finally losing the last of her patience.  
"Thomas."  
"Why would you talk to him after you saw what he put us through? You are the one that told me to leave him. To get Shayla the hell out of there before he killed us."  
"He's changed, Ness."  
"I am NOT Vanessa." She snapped again. "And there is no way you are going to sit there and tell me that he's a changed man."  
"He is."  
"Oh no, you are not." Abby swore. "You married that bastard, didn't you?"  
"I did but it was long after you took off. You broke his heart."  
"I should have broken his neck. You married him and let him knock you up?"  
"I did. All he wants is contact with his first daughter Shayla."  
"He wont see her ever again. And neither will you." Abby said standing up. "First daughter? You're even dumber than I remember."  
"Come on, Nessa. I would love to have what we used to."  
"Okay, I'll give you some best-friend advice, Jade. Don't buy a house with stairs."

_**Is there a place more lonely than I feel within?  
Could I have seen?  
Could I have known?**_

"You're smiling." Loritta said when Abby returned to her cell.  
"Yeah."  
"Good visitor?"  
"Not really. But one that could never shut her mouth." Abby said. "And she has given me a gift better than any one could."


	7. Til death do us part

**TITLE: FEAR: PART 7- TIL' DEATH DO US PART**  
Song: Til death do us part by Madonna  
Warnings: Abuse, domestic abuse, violence etc etc.  
Style: Tarantino style (jumping from now to ten years ago and other etc)  
Pairing: Abby/OMC  
Disclaimer: I own Thomas and Shayla. No one else. Oh, and now Jade, Loritta, Braelan and Renata. That is all.

"Have you seen Shayla?" Abby asked as she sat in the visiting room with Tony.  
"Haven't since you came in here. But she's fine, according to Ziva."  
"Good."  
"I need you to tell me what happened the night you shot Thomas." He blurted out. That's what he was sent there for by Gibbs. That and to check on her.  
"Wow, that was completely random." She said trying to hide her discomfort.  
"Well…?" He tried again. He hated that he had taken the smile from her face and the expression left was one he wasn't used to.  
"Must we?"  
"Yes. It's important. For the case." He added.  
"But I have gone over it a million times. Trust me." Abby tried, begging with him to not ask questions.  
"Abby, I promise you it'll be worth it."

_**You need so much but not from me  
Turn your back in my hour of need  
Something's wrong but you pretend you don't see  
I think I interrupt your life  
When you laugh it cuts me just like a knife  
I'm not your friend, I'm just your little wife**_

Now he recognized that look. The same one she had when he had been disappointed in her for not telling them about Mikel Mower. Now he cursed himself for being an asshole when she was obviously dealing with something bigger than they knew. She closed her eyes and let out a breath before opening them again to look at Tony.

"Okay." Abby finally said looking back down at the table between them. Her hands were bound together as she attempted to fiddle with rings that were no longer gracing her fingers. Obvious nervous habit. That's when Tony noticed the tiny heart tattoo that took the place of a wedding ring, that was usually covered by a large leather ring or latex gloves at work.

_**They never laugh, not like before  
She takes the keys, he breaks the door  
She cannot stay here anymore  
He's not in love with her anymore**_

"Vanessa decided to leave Thomas after he pushed Shayla." She started, disassociating instantly to be able to talk about it freely. Not consciously.  
"He did?"  
"He was beating her when she came back in the room. Shayla tried to pull Thomas away and he accidentally pushed her out of the way when she grabbed his arm." Abby justified and then winced. "Not that it wasn't just a matter of time until he did inflict on her what he did on Van… me." She corrected when she realized how she was talking.  
"And then what?"  
"After he realized what he did, he took off. He didn't come back until after Shayla was in bed and I had planned to leave him. He blamed me for what happened, and I told him to 'go to hell'. But I didn't give him the impression that I was getting out of there with Shay that night."  
"Okay. So why did you shoot him?" Tony asked when she stopped speaking, looking everywhere but at him.  
"We snuck out while he was sleeping. Or so I thought. He caught up to us when we got to the car and he dragged me back into the house."  
"In front of Shayla?" He asked, shocked.  
"Yes. He started kicking me again, and I knew Shayla was screaming in the car. It had to stop. And I knew that he would have killed me that night if I didn't do something and that was not going to happen to Shayla. And that was before I found out he already got rid of another wife and child."  
"Self defense?"  
"In every sense of the words." Abby said looking at him squarely. "Everything I have done, every law I have broken, every document I forged. It was all for survival."

_**The bruises they will fade away  
I will not stay to watch your hate as it grows  
She's had enough, she says the end**_

"No boyfriends yet? Suppose that's not out of the realm of possibility for a nearly sixteen year old." Ziva said as she and Shayla tried conversation again. Ziva picked it as a safe topic but the look on her face told her she once again failed.  
"Apparently I have trust issues with the opposite sex." She said quietly. "But, it doesn't bother me that I'm not like all the other girls my age." She added, adding a smile. The older woman was trying so hard.  
"Truly your mother's daughter."  
"Yeah. So what's your deal, Ziva?" Shayla asked finally.  
"My deal?" Ziva asked, confused.  
"Your story. I am sick of talking about my screwed up childhood. Tell me about you." Shayla said in a familiarly quick speed.  
"What would you like to know?"  
"Anything."

_**He makes demands, she draws the line  
He starts the fight, she starts the lie  
But what is truth when something dies  
He's not in love with her anymore**_

"Did you get anything?" Gibbs asked when Tony returned.  
"She's coping. Pretty well, actually." He said.  
"I knew that much. Anything that'll help?"  
"Just what we already had." Tony said.  
"I'm going out for coffee." Gibbs said leaving the office immediately.

"Gibbs, what are you doing here?" Ziva asked when he showed up at her apartment. She lowered her weapon and stepped aside to let the man in.  
"I need to talk to Shayla." He said. The young girl looked up from the book she was reading.  
"Shayla here, you're on the air." She chirped the way her mother always did.  
"Shayla, I need to ask you a few questions."  
"Okay."

_**But she'll come back, she knows it then  
A chance to start it all again  
Till death do us part**_


	8. Runaway

**TITLE: FEAR: PART 8- RUNAWAY**  
Song: Runaway from P!nk  
Warnings: Abuse, domestic abuse, violence etc etc.  
Style: Tarantino style (jumping from now to ten years ago and other etc)  
Pairing: Abby/OMC  
Disclaimer: I own Thomas and Shayla. No one else. Oh, and now Jade, Loritta, Braelan and Renata. That is all.  
Author's note: Just when you thought this writer or story couldn't get any crazier, she does it again. The most schitzo story you'll ever read. Enjoy.

_**I'm too young to be  
Taken seriously  
But I'm too old to believe  
All this hypocrisy**_

"Shayla, I need to know anything you can tell me to help your mother."  
"Help her with what? What happened to her?" Shayla asked, rising from her chair. She looked at Ziva and she was not happy. "You told me nothing was wrong."  
"It'll all be fine. But Shayla, we need your help."  
"Promise me, she's not hurt." Shayla demanded.  
"I promise." He said sitting on the couch. She soon sat back down.  
"What do you think I would know?" She asked. "I was only four when it all happened."  
"I know there's something you're not telling me." Shayla looked up at Gibbs and then back down. Finally she understood everything her mother had told her about this man. Suddenly her mouth started moving without her control.  
"There's one thing but I swore to my mother…"  
"It can help." Gibbs convinced her.  
"Maybe." She said and he looked at her in a way prompting her to continue. "Okay, but this can't get back to Thomas."  
"I'm not telling him anything." He said crossing his hand over his chest.  
"It was a few months after we left…"

_**FLASHBACK**_

"Mommy."  
"Yes, Petal." Vanessa said putting the last few plates away, after they'd finished dinner.  
"I think you are eating too much dinner." She said contemplating her thoughts for a second.  
"Um, okay. Where did that come from?" Vanessa asked. "Why do you think Mommy's eating too much dinner?" She asked her nearly five year old.  
"You've got a belly." Shayla laughed pointing to her mother's girth.  
"Oh honey, that's not from eating too much. This is your baby brother or sister."  
"Why is he there?" Shayla asked, not understanding. The little girl approached her mother, and as if afraid, put her hand slowly to the bump. When nothing bad happened, she put her head where her hand had been, trying to listen in. "I don't think he's in there, Momma."  
"The baby's there, Pet. You just can't hear it yet."

**END OF FLASHBACK**

"She was pregnant." Ziva stated.  
"Yes."

_**I might have nowhere left to go  
But I know that I cannot go home  
These words are trapped inside my head  
Tell me to run before I'm dead  
Chase the rainbows in my mind  
And I will try to stay alive**_

_**FLASHBACK**_

"Hi." The woman as she entered the elevator with 'Rachel' and Shayla.  
"New in the building?" Rachel asked.  
"Yes. Alicia." She said putting her hand out.  
"Rachel, and this is Shayla." She introduced.  
"Hey there darling." Alicia said bending down to the little girl's height.  
"Hi." She said quickly before burying her head in her mother's legs.  
"She can usually talk your ear off. Now, suddenly, she's shy."  
"When are you due?"  
"Within the next two weeks, give or take." Rachel said looking down at the baby she thought would never stop growing.  
"Congratulations. I'm a midwife at St. Brigid's Maternity hospital." She said. "Where are you having your check-ups?"  
"Oh, this is our floor. I would love to talk some more, what floor are you on?" Rachel asked as she grabbed Shayla's hand to exit the elevator.  
"4B. Drop by anytime you want and hopefully I wont be at work. Nice meeting you Rachel. And Shayla."  
"You too Alicia. Thanks."

"Baby, Mommy has to go see the nice lady we just met for a second. I'm going to lock the door. Now, who do you open it for?" She asked.  
"No one."  
"Not even…?"  
"You or daddy, or the policeman." Shayla rattled off.  
"That's my girl. Go and watch tv."

"Rachel, was it?" Alicia asked as she opened her door to the red-headed woman she had met in the elevator.  
"Yes. I was wondering if I could push our new friendship." She asked, nervously.  
"Please, come in." She welcomed, closing the door behind them, and walking to the couch. "Have a seat."  
"Thanks."  
"What can I help you with?" Alicia asked sitting next to her.  
"I need your expertise." She started, looking down. "Obviously."  
"You don't have a doctor yet?" She asked, shocked.  
"Really complicated story." She said taking a deep breath before deciding this was something she needed to do. "I couldn't go to the hospital or any doctor for my check-ups."  
"For your entire pregnancy?" Alicia didn't know what to say.  
"Yes. I can't really do anything or go anywhere that will require identification."  
"I don't know if I should be hearing this."  
"Alicia, I didn't break the law. My husband's trying to kill me."  
"Oh my God." Alicia couldn't believe what she was hearing.  
"I need you to deliver my baby."  
"Wait, what?"  
"I'll pay you what ever you want. I just need help with this." She begged, tears forming in her eyes. "I don't know what else to do."  
"I'll help you, but you need to go to a hospital."  
"That is not an option. I'll be dead before the baby is even born. I need your word that you wont repeat what I have told you."  
"I swear. Can I think about this?"Alicia asked, her mind spinning.  
"Sure. I have to get back to Shayla anyway, and start making her dinner. We're in 3C."

**END OF FLASHBACK**

_**And I wonder  
How long it'll take them to see my bed is made  
And I wonder  
If I was a mistake**_

"What happened?" Ziva asked, intrigued.  
"When the time came, the nurse from upstairs came through. From what I was told, there were no complications. My brother was born healthy."  
"What happened to him? I mean, where is he?" Gibbs asked.


	9. How far we've come

TITLE: Fear: Chapter 9~ How far we've come  
Rating: 16+  
Spoilers: None  
Pairing: Abby/OMC  
Warnings: Abuse, etc etc. Nothing more than what has been in previous chapters.  
Author's notes: As I have said elsewhere, I know some may disagree with my characterization of Jason in this chapter but it is sculpted around real life so... yeah.

_**CHAPTER 9. "How far we've come."**_

_**I believe the world is burning to the ground  
Oh well, I guess we're gonna find out  
Let's see how far we've come**_

"Officer Perrette?" Gibbs asked as the man answered the door.  
"Yes." He said obviously suspicious of the older man.  
"I'm Special Agent Gibbs and this is Special Agent DiNozzo, NCIS." He said showing his badge.

_**FLASHBACK**_

"Where is he right now?"  
"He's living with my uncle and aunt. Has since he was about one." Shayla explained. "We had to move again and it wasn't safe, so my uncle and aunt took him."  
"How is that safe? Wouldn't Thomas know exactly where to find him?"  
"No one messes with Jason Perrette. Not even Thomas. But that means I haven't seen my brother since we moved to D.C seven years ago." She said sadly.  
"Thomas has never gone after them?"  
"No. Jay has a chip on his shoulder for him. And they've claimed him as their own child since he was born. For safety."  
"Why didn't Jason threaten him when he first started hurting your mother?" Ziva asked, not understanding his hesitance to hurt the man.  
"My mother told him not to get himself involved in case she needed him later, which she did for Blaze. Also to not jeopardize his academy dreams."

**END OF FLASHBACK**

"What can I do for the Navy, today?" He asked, smiling his recognition of the government agency.  
"We're here to talk about Vanessa." Gibbs started. Suddenly the young officer yanked his arm and almost caught him off guard. Gibbs realized what he was doing and didn't defend himself as he was pulled into the apartment. DiNozzo quickly followed suit, and the door was closed and locked behind them.  
"What the hell are you doing talking like that on my doorstep?" Jason asked, and that is when Gibbs saw what Shayla was talking about. He could be very intimidating. Just a glance at Tony told him that, also.  
"We need your help, Officer Perrette." Gibbs said. "Your sister-in-law's been arrested."  
"I know, Agent Gibbs. I've done all I can, short of killing the bastard." Jason said sitting down on the couch motioning for them to do the same. Tony sat immediately, much like a trained puppy. "Which I would have done without thought the minute he touched her, Agent Gibbs. Trust me."  
"I understand the feeling." Gibbs said.  
"Yeah, I've heard. You've done a lot for Abby."

_**It's gone gone baby it's all gone  
There is no one on the corner and there's no one at home  
It was cool cool, it was just all cool  
Now it's over for me and it's over for you**_

_**FLASHBACK**_

"Mommy, where's the bubba?" Shayla asked when her mother returned to the car minus the infant she had gone in with.  
"Baby, he's staying here for a while." Abby tried, starting the car so she could drive away before changing her mind. She knew he was better off where he was and she would have left Shayla there too for her safety if Thomas wouldn't connect one and one, and put her son in danger too.  
"But, why?" The little girl asked, crying lightly.  
"So he doesn't get hurt. You'll understand one day, baby-girl."

**END OF FLASHBACK**

"Jay, we're just going to the movies." A new voice said from the doorway. There was a dark haired boy, around the same age as his companion but taller.  
"Manners?" Jason asked.  
"In my defense, when I started that sentence I was in another room and didn't know we had company." He said too quickly. The boy approached the two strangers in the room and held his hand out. "Blaze. Have we met?"  
"You're Blaze?" Tony asked. The boy didn't hold much of a resemblance to Abby. But he was definitely Thomas' son.  
"The one and only." He said animatedly. "And that's Chris."  
"Agents Gibbs and DiNozzo, NCIS." Jason said.  
"Wow. You guys actually exist?" Blaze said. "Wait. Is there some reason you guys came all the way here from D.C?" He asked worriedly.

"We met Blaze." Gibbs told Abby the day he and Tony got back from New Orleans.  
"You did what?" She asked, and he could tell she was trying to be pissed off but she was more afraid. "How do you even know about him?"  
"Shayla."  
"No. She wouldn't."  
"She suspects you're in trouble. She just wanted to help." Gibbs justified.  
"That's not the point." Now she was pissed. "Shayla is not supposed to repeat a word about Blaze to anyone who is not me. No one. That's why they haven't even seen each other in seven years. Why I haven't seen him in that long either."  
"Why didn't you tell me any of this?"  
"What good would that have done?" Abby asked.  
"You know that I would do anything to protect you, Abs. I could have helped you sooner."  
"No offense intended cos you know how much I adore you, Gibbs. But the fact is I have remained in prison for nearly a week with absolutely no leads on getting me out, and all you have done is break Shayla down to telling you things she has not repeated to another human." Abby said. She rubbed her eyes with worry and fatigue and simply got up, waiting at the door until the guard escorted her back to her cell.  
"I'll get you out, Abs. I promise." He called after her. But the truth was, he never felt so weak in his life. Well, not since his family was taken from him while he was gone.

_**I think it turned ten o'clock but I don't really know  
Then I can't remember caring for an hour or so  
Started crying and I couldn't stop myself  
I started running but there's no where to run to  
I sat down on the street and took a look at myself**_


	10. This is how a heart breaks

**TITLE: Fear: Chapter 10~ This is how a heart breaks  
Rating: 16+  
Spoilers: None  
Pairing: Abby/OMC  
Warnings: Abuse, etc etc. Nothing more than what has been in previous chapters.  
Author's notes: Did not realize how short my previous chapters have been. This one is longer than the last.**

**Has been close to two years since I last updated this story, so pardon me on any errors. I am going to try and read all the chapters and beta this new one after my exams. **

**May be a little information heavy but it is not near finished yet so I am trying my best. **

**CHAPTER TEN: "This is how a heart breaks."**

_**This is it now  
Everybody get down  
This is all I can take  
This is how a heart breaks**_

"Any luck, McGee?" Gibbs gruffed as he entered the lab that should have been occupied by someone else.

"Working on it, Boss. Never had to do this by myself before." He stuttered out nervously.

"Get over it, cos she isn't coming back until you get that working." The agent said as he left the lab.

"So, no pressure?" The probie asked hoping that his boss didn't hear him yet was sadly mistaken.

"Problem?"

"I just think this would work easier with a forensic specialist from another department." He explained quickly.

"Our team is not even working this case. Therefore, you need to do the best you can with it." Gibbs said losing some of his usual venom with the younger agent. "Just let me know, McGee."

"I will, Boss."

_**Life is like a mean machine  
It made a mess outta me  
It left me caught between  
Like an angry dream I was stranded, I was stranded**_

"How's the case going?" Abby asked, knowing her answer already by the look on the agent's face.

"We're working on it. Running out of leads, unless you have something else you can give us." Tony tried.

"We have had this conversation every day since I came here." Abby said putting her head in her hands.

"And we have had to figure out how much on our own that you could have told us weeks ago?" Gibbs snapped.

"Anything I tell you that you are going to try and use in the case is only going to serve to keep me here longer."

"Like Blaze?" Tony asked. The Goth turned on him so fast, neither agent had ever seen her react badly, so quickly.

"Blaze will never be mentioned again!" She yelled, as she stood from the table in the visiting room. "Go, get out of here."

"No."

"I'm so sick of the fight. He has been trying to break me for years. Well, you can tell him he's won. My children are safe, let him finish me off." Her voice was defeated as she turned her back on both agents. "I give up."

_**And I'm sorry but it's not a mistake  
And I'm running but you're getting away**_

"Everyone, go home." Gibbs said as he returned to the bullpen. Ziva and Tony stood but didn't obey the order, for the first time.

"Boss?" Tony asked in confusion.

"Both of you leave. I'm not going to tell you again." He said rather loudly, earning the attention of far too many other agents in the room. "Conference room."

"Yes, Boss." They said in unison as they followed him into the elevator, as he started it before switching it off after several seconds.

_**It's just the same thing all the time  
Never get what I want  
Never get too close to the end of the line**_

"Leave."

"But, the case. Abby." Tony said.

"The case is going nowhere, and we know this is not going to work. There is a lot I am willing to risk to get her back, my job, my freedom… life, whatever. But I am not getting you involved. After McGee is done he is out too." Gibbs said angrily. "I'm getting her back any way I can, by whatever means it takes."

"No." Tony said simply.

"I'm not going either." Ziva added without hesitation.

"This is not a discussion! This is serious." The grey-haired man boomed.

"It is very serious." Tony admitted. "I'm no leaving. Not turning my back on Abby."

"I don't care if it costs us all our jobs." Ziva said. "Worth it for Abby and for Shayla."

"Whatever it takes." Tony said.

"I have killed men for a lot less than what Caldwell is doing." Ziva said.

_**You're just the same thing that I knew back before the time  
When I was only for you**_

"The assault and kidnapping charges have been dropped, lack of credence." McGee said as he got off the phone, as Gibbs walked into the lab.

"Bail?" Gibbs asked.

"Probably. The attorney is working on it. She'd still have to stand for the attempted murder and fraud charges, but at least she would be able to help in her own defense." McGee said excitedly.

"Don't get ahead of yourself, McGee. This is far from great news." Gibbs wanted to smile and laugh and be happy also, but knew it was far from over. "Any luck with the thing?"

"Got it functional. Just need to clean it up and extract the audio." He said pointing to the bench where the broken mp3 lay.

"Good work, McGee. You've done good." He said quietly as he left the lab. Tim couldn't help himself from smiling. He decided a little music was in order.

_**And I'm steady but I'm starting to shake  
And I don't know how much more I can take**_

"Special Agent Gibbs?"

"What?" Gibbs asked as the man in the suit stood in the Bullpen looking quite lost.

"I was told to deliver this to you at the absence of Vanessa Caldwell." He handed over the blue paper. "A subpoena for her re-arrest."

"She just got out on bail this morning." Gibbs yelled. "What is this about?"

"New charges of murder."

"Murder of who?" He asked but the man was already in the elevator, as it closed.

"Hey Boss."

"What?" Gibbs was just getting angrier.

"Abby's case is closed." Tony said excitedly. "Thomas Caldwell was found dead in his home, three hours ago."

"And how is Abby free?"

"Well, she's in jail." The Senior field agent tried.

"She's been out on bail all day." The boss said angrily. "And here is a subpoena for her arrest for his murder."

"You don't think she…?"

"Are you insane?" The man asked. "I can assure you, she would not have left her children for anything today. Someone is definitely framing her for this though, and Abby has every reason to want him dead. We all do."

_**This is how a heart breaks**_


End file.
